The World’s Best Burger

The other day I had a burger from the drive-thru down the hill from our house. I don’t know why I went there because I hate this particular fast food chain. Their food always gives me a stomachache. Always. I’m pretty sure they serve all their burgers with a side of regret. As I drove away in shame, biting into my burger and trying not to get ketchup on my shirt, I thought to myself: when was the last time I had a really good burger? Unfortunately, it’s been quite a while.

Sometimes, if you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself. Unless it’s dental surgery. Or anything involving me and a toolbox.

What makes for a good burger? It isn’t about the stuff you pile on top. It’s mostly about the patty and a little bit about the bun. The patty needs to taste like beef. It needs to have a great sear on the outside and incredible juiciness on the inside. The bun needs to be soft and lightly toasted – preferably in butter. Toasting the bun helps it to stand up to all the flavorful juice coming out of the burger.

Excuse me for a second. I’m drooling again.

Pretty simple. Nothing fancy or special as far as the ingredients. The more I cook, the more I see that it is less about ingredients and more about technique. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should use crappy ingredients. What I’m saying is a bad cook can easily make really expensive ingredients taste like crap. And a good cook can make even the most humble ingredients into something pretty wonderful.

A few more thoughts before I get to the recipe:

1. Don’t use lean beef unless you like your burgers dry and tasteless. I get the best results from 20% fat. And don’t even think about using frozen burger patties.
2. You don’t need garlic powder, seasoning salt, Lipton Onion Soup Mix, Worcestershire sauce, or any other additives. You’re not making meatloaf here. You only need salt and pepper.
3. When the instructions say to leave the burgers alone for a full three minutes in the pan, it really means to leave them alone. Don’t press on them. Don’t peek underneath them. Don’t even gaze upon them. And only flip them once.
4. Please don’t use American cheese. It’s not really cheese. Chemically, I think it’s closer to petroleum jelly. I prefer a combo of provolone and cheddar.
5. Lastly, do not attempt to eat one of these without a pile of napkins handy. Or a roll of paper towels. Lobster bib optional.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 pound ground beef (20% fat)
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper
• ½ teaspoon vegetable oil
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
• 4 hamburger buns
• 4 slices cheese

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Gently divide the ground beef into 4 equal piles.
• Very gently shape each pile into a loose patty ½ inch or so thick and 4 inches across.
• Season the tops of each patty with salt and pepper.
• Melt half the butter in a 12-inch pan over medium heat.
• Toast the bun tops in the butter until golden brown.
• Add the remaining butter and toast the bun bottoms.
• Wipe out the pan, return it to high / medium-high heat and add the vegetable oil.
• When the pan just starts to smoke, add the burger patties, seasoned side down.
• While they’re cooking, season the other side of the patty.
• For a full 3 minutes: DO NOT TOUCH THE BURGERS.
• Flip the burgers over.
• Add cheese and cook for another 2 minutes.
• Place each burger onto a toasted bun and serve with your preferred condiments.

Makes 4 juicy, messy, delicious burgers.